There is nothing profound about this statement, and yet I have been a witness of late to two very painful incidents that have occurred with people I know.

The first happened to a young man who is very much in love with someone he wants to make his wife. He proposed to her. She accepted. The next step was to have “the conversation” with her father. That did not go well as he was “escorted” from the home and told not to return. I am not sure how this soap opera will end but the beginning was certainly inauspicious.

Freeze the frame for a moment. If you are the father of this young woman naturally you want what is best for your daughter. Instead of sitting down and having an intelligent conversation about all the issues and options, rage kicks in and you throw the man who your daughter loves out of your home… and you disown her for life. Dumb with a capital “D.”

Here are the facts: (1) She is still your daughter regardless of all the disowning you do. (2) She may one day bear your grandchildren whether you like it or not. (3) She is an adult and can make her own decisions.

You may not want to give her your blessings but you do not need to heap 40 years of bad luck on her either simply because you do not like the way her hubby-to-be parts his hair.

So get bent out of shape if you must. But for heaven’s sake, do not start banning and disowning and doing irreparable damage to your own flesh and blood. One of the most painful lessons one can learn is that you can be responsible to your children, but not for your children.

You hope that you have given them enough insight and knowledge to make good choices in life, but at some point you have to trust them to make their own decisions. Do not disown them even if they make lousy choices. Last time I checked, half the American population has been down divorce alley at least once so folks are going to make bad choices in life.

You sort of expect this kind of thing when dealing with young people; you do not expect it among senior citizens, which is the other painful incident of which I am aware.

Once upon a time these folks were married and seemed to be happy and content. All of a sudden, there’s trouble in Camelot and things are not going as well as they once did.

Comes next the divorce, which should be the end of the issue. But no, since the pots and pans are still being hurled back and forth, there must be some element of love left in the relationship. Remember, the opposite of love is not hate; it is indifference. If you fall out of love with someone, you simply do not care. You are indifferent.

Some folks want to try to salvage a relationship when the cost of the salvage job exceeds the value of the relationship, leading one to wonder aloud what that old bumper sticker said years ago: “Why do we do the things we do when we know the things we know?” What’s the definition of insanity? Doing the same old thing an hoping for different results.

So part of the salvage job included remarrying and recommitting to something that did not work so well the first time around. No surprise here-- a second divorce ensued. Now the only people winning are the lawyers, whose fees are fattened by bad decisions.

Now if you are a teenager and you make these kinds of decisions at least you can mark it up to inexperience and stupidity. If you’re a senior citizen and you have traveled this path before, shame on you for replicating your past.

Painful as it may seem, sometimes it might just be better to be friends than to be married. Marriage is difficult on a good day and it requires a lot of patience, forgiveness, love and care. Imagine how it is on a bad day. None of those ingredients are anywhere to be found. Adopt this philosophy: “Be wrong so that others may be right.” Life will be much less miserable.