MIZZZ OLGA SAYS: "MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!"

BY: Michael A. Aun, FIC, LUTCF, CSP, CPAE Speaker Hall of Fame

She's 86 years old and always does things her way. We all have those aunts that are like Mizzz Olga, the affectionate name I've given her. She's my late mother's sister, Olga Renard.

I call her a couple times a week just to aggravate her and to get the latest news about everyone. Her brother, Eli Mack, Jr., the former Mayor of Lexington, SC, refers to her as the "mouth of the south"… and also calls her "Mother Superior."

She's old fashioned in every way you can imagine. Sometimes I phone her and I can't get through because the line is busy. "I don't believe in call-waiting," says Mizzz Olga. "I'm so popular; you'll just have to wait your turn to talk to me."

She calls her hubby (my Uncle George) of 64 years "Pa" (pronounced paw in her native South Carolinian accent). Uncle George talked her into a new fangled piece of equipment called a telephone answering machine some time back. "Imagine that," explained Mizzz Olga. "You actually can leave a message." Just for the heck of it, I'll call and sing to her when I get the answering machine. It's usually goes like this: "Happy (insert the day of the week) to you…." It aggravates her, which is my goal in life.

Despite Uncle George's ability to sell her on the answering machine, he hasn't been able to convince her to upgrade anything else. I offered to give her a computer so she could receive pictures of my beautiful granddaughters Ava and Ashley. "I already have a television set. Thank you."

But Mizzz Olga, you can use it for your bookkeeping. I'll buy you a program called Quicken and you can track those three checks you write every month. "I have my own system," she explains, pulling out her Tampa Nugget cigar box complete with receipts and all in order. "Just mind your own business. My system works fine."

I even offered to replace that old black, dial telephone, which must be made of steel judging by the weight. She keeps that one in the "shushma," an Arabic word for the bathroom toilet. "My telephone works just fine thank you. Mind your own business."

Actually, I wanted to wrestle it away from her because it's now a very valuable antique. They don't exist any more. Imagine dialing a long distance call on that phone and making a mistake. It brings to mind that old Chris Rock routine about misdialing and having to start over…. click, click, click, click, click… dang it!

She recently took my sisters, her daughter and granddaughters out to dinner over the Christmas holidays at Duncan Crowe's Lexington Arms restaurant in Lexington, SC and insisted on paying for all ten of the women who were in attendance at this meal. "Let my sisters pay!" I demanded. "They're all working and have plenty of massatti (an Arabic word for money)." Her response, "This is my treat. Mind your own business. Anyway, Pa has money."

Just for the heck of it, I asked her if she put it on her credit card. "I don't need to charge it," she reasoned. "Why don't you mind your own business? Pa asked me right before we left if I wanted massatti or a check. I used some gift certificates and wrote a check for the balance."

What makes this so hard to believe is nobody takes a check for a meal anymore, but she's been a client of Duncan Crowe's for years and that's how things are done in a small town. I suspect Duncan would even let her mail a check when she got home. Small town folks are like that.

Mizzz Olga used to own and operate her own restaurant decades ago. In those days they actually prepared the meals on a pot-belly stove. My ...how things have changed.

When I visit her, she always prepares me black eye peas and rice and pimento cheese. She's got two stoves, one of which resides on her back porch. I suggested that she dump both antiques and get one nice new one for her kitchen. "Mind your own business. My ovens work just fine thank you."

Every Friday morning I go to Toastmasters at 7:00 a.m. and I phone her on my way back to my office. She's an early riser so I could actually call her before I leave and she'd be there waiting. I now have her conditioned. She knows it's my call coming in at 9:00 a.m. Occasionally, her son George will check in and she'll chide him for calling during "little Mike's" time slot. "You know he calls at 9:00 a.m." she tells her son. Nobody, including her own kids, get any slack from Mizzz Olga.

Mizzz Olga is a Lexington icon. There's only one like her. She does things her way and if you don't like it… well, mind your own business!